23 October, 2009

Life After Israel

We are finally back in Paris, after hours of being searched inside-out at the Tel Aviv airport and a big delay connecting in Munich.  The air is fresh and cold here and smells of autumn, and the serenity of the winter holiday season seems suddenly not too far away.  Now that I'm back home, Israel seems somewhat like a glorious, fantastic dream.  I can barely believe that it really happened.  The whole experience was so much more powerful than I expected it to be.  There were many times during the months leading up to the competition that I seriously doubted it would be worth the sacrifice, but like a ride on a roller coaster, those low months brought me to such a high as I've never experienced before!  The atmosphere created around the event put us at the center of the harp world's attention.  Fueled by the surrounding emotional charge, I was able to have the best performance of my life in second stage.  (I was choking on the excitement as I walked off stage and it was only several minutes later that my breathing was under control enough that I wasn't seriously worrying I would faint.)  I didn't anticipate what strong personal connections I would form with some of the other harpists there, how much closer it would draw me and Marta together, and what a readership this blog would inspire.  Standing here with my feet back on the ground, I am dazed and have the strange feeling that I can do anything now.

Though it has taken me a couple days to arrange the hurricane of thoughts in my mind so that they can be coherently written down, I assure you that I do not intend to abandon this blog.  Writing has always been an important part of who I am, and I have discovered that I love having this public outlet for it.  For the moment, there are a few things I have left to write, by way of wrapping up the story of the Israel competition.  For example, I had a request from a reader to write about the piece by Yitzhak Yedid on first stage, and I would like to share my experience receiving comments from the jury.  Then it will be time to move on, and I intend to adapt this space to serve as my own little publication for thoughts and observations on life, the world of harp, and music in general, as seen internationally by an American living in Paris.  One of the million things I gained from my experience in Israel was a sense of the role that my generation of harpists will play.  As I enter the professional world, I feel a responsibility to continue the innovation that older generations have brought and to pave the way for younger harpists to achieve even greater things.  I never intended to be a reporter - I am a musician - but I have received so much encouragement to write that I can't ignore it as one of my strengths, and I would be stupid not to incorporate it into my life.  Fortunately, internet blogging allows for so much freedom that I don't have to be a regular reporter in order to bring awareness and to have an impact on the world of opinions.  I love to analyze things that people think they understand but actually haven't given much thought to at all.  I want to use my writing to demystify the process of becoming a professional musician and to explore what direction to aim for in our art.  It's a vague statement of purpose for the moment, but it will all come together as I go.  Please come along; your comments do so much to enrich this blog.

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